extra contribution 大家来议一下这个文章吧，有奖

agldacheng

Some employers reward members of staff for their exceptional contribution to the company by giving them extra money. This practice can act as incentive for some but may also have a negative impact on others.

To give the employees extra money for their exceptional contribution is an effective way to encourage all workers to work harder and gain more profit. And this method is reasonable.
First, the workers who have done more job than average should gain more, they deserve the more money given by their bosses. They gain more for they have contributed more than others. If they do more work without extra reward, they would lose the mobilization to work harder for the employers, they would even do less work than before. To the opposite, their bosses give them more profit for they contribution, they have not fail to gain extra income for more work they have done, they would feel satisfied and the reward deserve the more effort. So they would work harder to contribute more to their employers in order to gain more.
Second, the employers should pay more for the extra contribution and this method is appropriate. Their object is to gain profit through organizing the workers to work for him. They workers work for boss, the boss should pay for their work. If the workers have done more, the boss should certainly pay more for the extra contribution. It is a reasonable choice.
While I support this method, I must say that the amount of the extra money should be adjusted to a suitable level. Too few money will not act as an effective incentive, the workers who have than more will lose their interest in their work. Too much money is not appropriate either, if workers who do more gain too much money, other workers will complained that their job have not been paid enough attention they deserve.
To award people for their extra contribution, there do exist other ways. Something like appliance. I think money is the most effective present. With money, people could buy what they want freely.
In all, the appropriate amount of money is the best award for the extra contribution.

alvinwoolf

If the workers have done more, the boss should certainly pay more for the extra contribution.    

agldacheng

大家对我写的这个东西有什么看法，你的观点又是什么呢，不如我们用英语交流一下吧。

agldacheng

我要顶上去，大家来帮我啊。

lesenhower

to be frank,i don't think there is much to debate on the topic.
equalitarianism has long proven to be a big mistake and one of the most fundamental rationales of  marketing economy is "distribution according to  performance"
the only thing we need to talk about is the form of the reward.
everyone likes money,but as everyone knows ,money is not everything.and as for the boss,money must be the last thing he wants to pay as reward.so a shrewd boss usually adopts other ways ,in addition to money , to commend an employee .  to give him a honor ,a diploma,or even an oral  praise , are all mothods to courage the man and stimulate the others and at the same time,save the money for the boss.
of course , if a boss only give such things and never material reward, no man will be interested after several times.

随便看了一下，觉得问题本身没有什么值得讨论的，不过语言上好像有以下几点可以说说。

1）
Some employers reward members of staff for their exceptional contribution to the company by giving them extra money.

"members of staff"是不是重复了呢？好像staff就直接可以了。这里的重复没有意义，应该简略。
"extra money"也不是很明了，bonus之类的单词不就可以了。
其实可以这样写，是不是更加顺一点呢：
Some employers give monetary reward to their underling for the latter's exceptional contribution to the company.

2）
To give the employees extra money for their exceptional contribution is an effective way to encourage all workers to work harder and gain more profit. And this method is reasonable.

前一句很长，后一句话又太短，好像有些失调，何不这样：
It is reasonable and effective to give …… so as to\ in order to\ for the purpose that……

3）
First, the workers who have done more job than average should gain more, they deserve the more money given by their bosses.

这句话的前半句一不留神，很容易看错。应该是：the worker …… should gain more
何不用 the more, the more 的句型，这样应该会更加工整。
而且前半句和后半句之间有因果关系，或者说是递进关系，按照英语的习惯，两句话中间应该加上关联词。

4）
They gain more for they have contributed more than others.

到这里为止，楼主用了多少个more，我已经数不清楚了。
这句话意思和上面重复，本没有必要再写了。而more重复出现次数太多，也不是英语行文的习惯。

5）
If they do more work without extra reward, they would lose the mobilization to work harder for the employers, they would even do less work than before.

也是最后半句话，应该有关联词连接，否则是破句。

6）
Second, the employers should pay more for the extra contribution and this method is appropriate.

论述同2）

7）
While I support this method, I must say that the amount of the extra money should be adjusted to a suitable level.

如果是大家讨论也就无所谓了。如果是写文章，外国人的习惯是“走极端”，只选一个观点，深入剖析，严密论证。他们不懂中庸，不知道有的时候事情往往不能简单地用好坏、对错来判断，但是这就是他们的习惯。（我还是喜欢《逍遥游》的风格。）

8）
Too few money will not act as an effective incentive,

直接说“阻碍（消极）因素”不是更加直截了当吗？而且更加顺畅。词汇很多，比如inactivate或者是negative等等。

9）
Too much money is not appropriate either,

money一词也有些多，可以用一些其他的表示方法，例如overpay。

10）
if workers who do more gain too much money, other workers will complained that their job have not been paid enough attention they deserve.

这句话的代词也不舒服。是不是可以考虑使用some …… others。worker重复的次数也多了
既然开篇就是employer，我们也可以使用employee、personnel等，查查字典吧，我脑子短路了。


最后有一点我不确定，就是In all是“总共”的意思，没有看见过用来文章结尾的。结尾的时候好像大家都是用all in all。不知是否，请批阅。

刚才在看自己写的东西，惨不忍睹。简直不敢相信这是人写出来的东西。
俗话说得好，眼高手低。挑毛病容易，要自己写也同样难了。
谢谢！

neotsu

引用第5楼phonology于2006-08-11 00:17发表的“”:
.......

我还是踮脚尖儿，在大括号里踮脚尖儿。踮起脚尖要威望。。。

以下是phonology原文

==========================


随便看了一下，觉得问题本身没有什么值得讨论的，不过语言上好像有以下几点可以说说。

1）
Some employers reward members of staff for their exceptional contribution to the company by giving them extra money.

"members of staff"是不是重复了呢？好像staff就直接可以了。这里的重复没有意义，应该简略。
"extra money"也不是很明了，bonus之类的单词不就可以了。
其实可以这样写，是不是更加顺一点呢：
Some employers give monetary reward to their underling for the latter's exceptional contribution to the company.

{
   reward 经常是做名词，或者是得到的人使用，比如 someone is rewarded... 主动给与用 award.  不经常见到exceptional ， 一般用outstanding描述贡献
}

2）
To give the employees extra money for their exceptional contribution is an effective way to encourage all workers to work harder and gain more profit. And this method is reasonable.

前一句很长，后一句话又太短，好像有些失调，何不这样：
It is reasonable and effective to give …… so as to\ in order to\ for the purpose that……

{
  老兄上句都说了， bonus..
  bonus for outstanding contribution is an effective way ...
  to encourage...to work and to... 这句型复杂的，改为 method of encouraging...to work ... and gaining more...
  And 不做句首，菜鸟问题。
}
3）
First, the workers who have done more job than average should gain more, they deserve the more money given by their bosses.

这句话的前半句一不留神，很容易看错。应该是：the worker …… should gain more
何不用 the more, the more 的句型，这样应该会更加工整。
而且前半句和后半句之间有因果关系，或者说是递进关系，按照英语的习惯，两句话中间应该加上关联词。

{
  more job? more work!
  干吗用have done? 直接 who did more...
  gain more? gain是主动的，是获得的意思，这里使用不当，如果要主动，用earn, 被动， be paid.
  average 做名词要加the, 同理有the old, the red...
  they deserve it. 就完了，deserve的就是上半句，简练
}

4）
They gain more for they have contributed more than others.

到这里为止，楼主用了多少个more，我已经数不清楚了。
这句话意思和上面重复，本没有必要再写了。而more重复出现次数太多，也不是英语行文的习惯。

{
  再次呼吁，用英文写作先要学会用英文思考。这样的东西就是绕口令。。。。
}

5）
If they do more work without extra reward, they would lose the mobilization to work harder for the employers, they would even do less work than before.

也是最后半句话，应该有关联词连接，否则是破句。

{
  to work harder??? work hard或者 harder要加 than 谁谁谁。
  这种地方一般写 they may lose....不是确定，而是可能， 和you will die one day这样的确定的事情不一样。
  加关联词的时候把主语去了。
}

6）
Second, the employers should pay more for the extra contribution and this method is appropriate.

论述同2）

7）
While I support this method, I must say that the amount of the extra money should be adjusted to a suitable level.

如果是大家讨论也就无所谓了。如果是写文章，外国人的习惯是“走极端”，只选一个观点，深入剖析，严密论证。他们不懂中庸，不知道有的时候事情往往不能简单地用好坏、对错来判断，但是这就是他们的习惯。（我还是喜欢《逍遥游》的风格。）

{
  这句话太别扭。直接阐述你的观点，while i support....到底你support不？你可以说：I support this method and i also believe that ......
}

8）
Too few money will not act as an effective incentive,

直接说“阻碍（消极）因素”不是更加直截了当吗？而且更加顺畅。词汇很多，比如inactivate或者是negative等等。


{
  too few??? too little money 低级错误。。
  不同意polo....gy这里说的，不是有效的，并不代表负面的。
}

9）
Too much money is not appropriate either,

money一词也有些多，可以用一些其他的表示方法，例如overpay。

10）
if workers who do more gain too much money, other workers will complained that their job have not been paid enough attention they deserve.

这句话的代词也不舒服。是不是可以考虑使用some …… others。worker重复的次数也多了
既然开篇就是employer，我们也可以使用employee、personnel等，查查字典吧，我脑子短路了。


{
  不舒服的原因很简单，不是worker重复多了，polo...gy和a版脑筋都短路了原因：）
  if workers who do more gain too much money 这个定语从句怎么没有谓语阿？直接就另起一句？我给您翻译过来就是：
  如果那些赚了多的工人，另外的工人将抱怨。。。。
}


最后有一点我不确定，就是In all是“总共”的意思，没有看见过用来文章结尾的。结尾的时候好像大家都是用all in all。不知是否，请批阅。

{
  All in All 是总而言之，总之的意思，没错， Pink floyd <Wall>
All in all it was just a brick in the wall....
}

刚才在看自己写的东西，惨不忍睹。简直不敢相信这是人写出来的东西。
俗话说得好，眼高手低。挑毛病容易，要自己写也同样难了。
谢谢！

还有话要说。依照原来的顺序。

1)
outstanding当然很好，exceptional也是可以的，其义“异常”表示非常好，还是用在褒义的赞扬。
两个词语是程度上的区别。

2）
“bonus for outstanding contribution is an effective way ……”
不知道楼上的兄弟又没有看过《中式英语之鉴》这本书，一个在中央编译局做翻译校对的外国人写的，其中指出了很多中国英语的问题。
这个就是里面指出过的一个问题，个人觉得那本书的作者的分析还是很有道理的。
首先，外国人其实不是很习惯助于这么长的，所以我建议用it is 句型。
第二，上面已经讲过奖励了，it可以指代，没有必要再说一遍了。

3）
gain more其实也没有什么不可以的。这里选什么词关键是站在谁的立场上来说了。
如果是工人的立场，我干得多，当然应该得到得多。
gain和earn不都是主动的嘛？所以主动与被动并不是很重要，一个获取，一个得到，也没什么太大差别的。
当然因为是“钱”的关系，所以earn更好，因为它更加具体，直接与钱相联系。
外国人一般喜欢具体的表述。（当然学术文章除外）

5）
would和may都可以表示不确定的，此外would这里还可以表示虚拟语气。
如果表示确定，就直接用they lose ……好了。
所有的情态动词都是表示不确定的，当然它们有程度的区别。（俺们老师说的，博导）

8）
money可以加s的，nmoneys or monies。
我的确没留心，我们现在都说too little money
此外，我这里原本是想用inactivating的，不是inactivate


10)
if workers who do more | gain too much money
可以这样断句
我说自己脑子短路，指的是近义词想不出来了，原来知道很多的。

cqbmail

firstly,I agree with you on "the appropriate amount of money is the best award for the extra contribution."according to ecnomical theory,it wil allow consumer benefit from enjoyjing the products freely.

secondly,I don&#39;t think extra money is a useful way to all people. to those people who bury themselve in pursue their career successful ,they tend to look foward to a positon or a company which will be more comparable for them.that is the reason some famous professor leave china to overseas.

  briefly,I think money is more useful to the people whose goal specialized in improving their corporeal situation ,which means ,earning more money. for the others , its  attraction will be at a discount. compared with the money , a more  foreseeable achievement  owns more charm to promote them to work hard.

neotsu

引用第7楼phonology于2006-08-11 11:09发表的“”:
还有话要说。依照原来的顺序。
.......

看来p 老兄对我误解了， 我是借着您的东西继续分析骗威望而已，说的都是a版的毛病（他号称斑竹，至少应该假冒有雅量不是？所以我就可以放口胡说了：）），对你的文章，不是和你“真疯相对”，而是想锦上添花而已。别误会，嘿嘿，别误会。

顺便再交流交流。俺就是别里科夫.Neo, 装在括号里的人

-=================================================

还有话要说。依照原来的顺序。

1)
outstanding当然很好，exceptional也是可以的，其义“异常”表示非常好，还是用在褒义的赞扬。
两个词语是程度上的区别。


{
   这两个词都可以，不过以我的经历，老美虽然喜欢夸人，但是exceptional基本上用来形容一些“非凡的”东西，比如可以傲视同。。（人字旁加个齐念啥来着？），我在大部分推荐信，和表彰信（通常with bonus）上都是outstanding. great...等等。exceptional见过形容拿很不容易奖学金的人的通告上。
}

2）
“bonus for outstanding contribution is an effective way ……”
不知道楼上的兄弟又没有看过《中式英语之鉴》这本书，一个在中央编译局做翻译校对的外国人写的，其中指出了很多中国英语的问题。
这个就是里面指出过的一个问题，个人觉得那本书的作者的分析还是很有道理的。
首先，外国人其实不是很习惯助于这么长的，所以我建议用it is 句型。
第二，上面已经讲过奖励了，it可以指代，没有必要再说一遍了。

{
  这个同意， it&#39;s 是好句型，我的原意是，那么长的东西，只用bonus就可以代替了。事实上我的想法更简单。 bonus is an effective way to ...就可以。至于重复的问题，我的想法是，上面讲的bonus和这里的bonus侧重不一样，重复一下没问题吧。
}

3）
gain more其实也没有什么不可以的。这里选什么词关键是站在谁的立场上来说了。
如果是工人的立场，我干得多，当然应该得到得多。
gain和earn不都是主动的嘛？所以主动与被动并不是很重要，一个获取，一个得到，也没什么太大差别的。
当然因为是“钱”的关系，所以earn更好，因为它更加具体，直接与钱相联系。
外国人一般喜欢具体的表述。（当然学术文章除外）


{
  这里gain的意思有点点微妙， gain是获得的意思，一般情况下没问题，但是在这个语境（包含老板和员工）的情况下就不太合适。因为你拿多少报酬，不光是你付出的问题，还有别人肯给你多少的意思。所以earn就包含了两者的意思，比较合适。gain在这里会体现出一点不受外在条件约束的意思。比如说 no pain, no gain...这里的gain的意思是获得。你付出了就会有所获得，这个获得并不表达还要被别人限制的意思。我表达得不太好。
}

5）
would和may都可以表示不确定的，此外would这里还可以表示虚拟语气。
如果表示确定，就直接用they lose ……好了。
所有的情态动词都是表示不确定的，当然它们有程度的区别。（俺们老师说的，博导）
{
  would虚拟语气....我的印象里 would的虚拟是表达意愿的吧。记不清楚了
}

8）
money可以加s的，nmoneys or monies。
我的确没留心，我们现在都说too little money
此外，我这里原本是想用inactivating的，不是inactivate
{
  要是inactivating就没问题，意义准确。
}

10)
if workers who do more | gain too much money
可以这样断句
我说自己脑子短路，指的是近义词想不出来了，原来知道很多的。

{
    这个。。。  看走眼了。。。幸好一时疏忽没加颜色。嘿嘿嘿嘿嘿。
}

无所谓，大家讨论着玩。
其实都是差不多的，随便好了。
---------
不过你的威望长得还真得很快哦

ramond

Some employers reward members of staff for their exceptional contribution to the company by giving them extra money. （Some employers reward staffers by giving them extra money, for their exceptional contribution to the company.)
This practice can act as incentive动机 for some(someone) but (though it) may also have a negative impact on others.
"To give the employees extra money for their exceptional contribution is an effective way to encourage all workers to work harder and gain more profit(profits). And this method is reasonable."
这一部分是个主系表结构 ...is...，但感觉主语、宾语部分都太“重”。一个简单的结构读来冗长并不算高级。
而且前后很多内容上的重复。还不如说：In my opinion, this method is reasonable.更简洁明快。

First, the workers who have done more job(应为jobs/work) （than average去掉） should gain more,(这一句结束用句号)
they deserve the more money （given by their bosses可去掉）. They gain more for they have contributed more than others. (这一部分可以紧缩成They deserve it for they have contributed more than others.)
(If they do more work去掉) Without extra reward, they would(will) lose the mobilization to work harder for the employers,(加and) they would(will) even do less work than before. To the opposite, their bosses give them more profit(s) for they contribution,(句号；而且全句有语病，最好改成Instead bosses pay them more as prize.)

They have(改为do) not fail to gain extra income for more work they have done,(句号)
而且是废话，可以改成一个单词“Therefore,”
they would(will) feel satisfied and the reward deserve(改为deserves) the more effort(s). So they would(改为must) work harder to contribute（避免重复，最好用答谢acknowledge/thank） more to their employers in order to gain more. （最后一句改为Then they have to work even harder to acknowledge/thank higher-ups&#39; praise.）

Second, the employers should pay more for the extra contribution and this method is appropriate. Their object is to gain profit through organizing the workers to work for him. They workers work for boss, the boss should pay for their work. If the workers have done more, the boss should certainly pay more for the extra contribution. It is a reasonable choice. (整段都重复赘余！必须要有新的方面出现。)

  While I support this method, I must say that the amount of the extra money should be adjusted to a suitable level. Too few (little) money will not act as an effective incentive, (and) the workers (who have than more去掉） will lose their interest(s) in their work. Too much money is not appropriate either, if workers who do more gain too much money, other workers will complained that their job have not been paid enough attention they deserve. （Too much money makes some workers become pride or ask for more, and others lose confidence or even feel hurt.）

  To award people for their extra contribution, there do exist other ways. (Of course, we have various ways to award people.)Something like appliance.(But) I think money is the most effective present. With money, people could buy what they want freely. （结构、次序安排有问题。）

   In all, the appropriate amount of money is the best award for the extra contribution.

简评：整篇文章最大问题倒不在语法上。语法的问题容易解决。
倒是结构不是很合理，有点混乱。需要重新组织、调整。
而且“水分”太多，一挤干没有太多实际内容。
应设法删除冗余的用语，让语言显得宽松、明快。即使重复意义的表达，也是有不同方式的。

ramond

参考修改整理：Nowadays, some employers reward staffers by giving them extra money, for their exceptional contribution to the company.This practice can act as incentive for someone, though it may also bring/cause a negative impact on others.In my opinion, this method is reasonable.

  First, it&#39;s effective to protect workers&#39; enthusiasm and self-esteem. Whoever accomplish(es) more jobs should gain more money. They deserve it for they have contributed more than others. Without extra reward, they will lose the mobilization to work harder for the employers,and they will even do less work than before.Instead bosses pay them more as prize.They do not fail to gain extra income for more work they have done,they will feel satisfied.Then they have to work even harder to acknowledge/thank higher-ups&#39; praise.

  Second, it may set good examples in front of the staff. Those who just kills time in the office admires that their colleagues are well praised and paid.They might start to check themselves or even tend to chase their achievement in order to get extra benefits as well. The competition will improve the work efficiency and quality. and the company will become more stronger.

  Of course, we have different ways to award people. Something like appliance.But it&#39;s not sure everyone&#39;s likes and dislikes. I think money is the most effective present. With money, people could buy what they want freely.

  While I support this method, I must say that the amount of the extra money should be adjusted to a suitable level. Otherwise it will result in conflicts. Too little money will not act as an effective incentive, and the workers will lose their interests in their work. Too much money makes some workers become pride or ask for more, and others lose confidence or even feel hurt.

  In all, the appropriate amount of money is the best award for the extra contribution.
  
  当然我水平有限，此修改仅供参考、讨论、批评。大家还可以自己完善、丰富。