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What Did the Children Know and
When Did They Know It?
by Dana Roeser
from Antioch Review
Summer 2006
I kept the secret well.
A tsunami had struck Southeast Asia
and 43,000 people were killed. That's
what they said at first, somewhat
loudly, somewhat pointedly, somewhat unmistakably,
on the radio, on the day after Christmas.
But the girls were playing
Yahtzee, or watching that hilarious Fawlty Towers
video for the nth time, or
practicing their dance steps, or doing
each other's hair, or toasting smores through the
side door of the woodstove,
the Christmas tree winking
at us from the other room, not yet as dry
as tinder, and though
I didn't turn the radio off — and
it kept going on and on, the steady accretion of
horrific detail — it somehow
couldn't compete with their
industrious pursuit of the funny video, or the
violin, their absorption
in the smores, or whatever
it was that they were doing. I didn't
turn it off; I let it talk
alongside them, wondering
when they would notice, sort of incredulous
that they hadn't, but not wanting
to stop them, to say something.
Now, reading the Wall Street Journal
today, a week later,
I realize that they, like the antelope
stampeding the shoreline in the state
of Tamil Nadu — ten minutes
before the tsunami hit — or the elephants,
leopards, deer, and other wild animals
who escaped unharmed in Sri Lanka,
had already found high land,
a little island, that
would not break. You see,
I wasn't just keeping
the secret of the tsunami. There was something
else in the house. How often
I'd wished they'd overhear,
preferably my side of the story, so that I would not
have to know alone. But my girls had
already proceeded inland.
They were balancing on their new exercise
balls from Borders, watching John
Cleese, as Basil Fawlty — with the
woman in the video, \"olly,\" the maid, who in real
life was, for a long while, at least,
his wife — his helpless antics
in the face of events that he couldn't control,
events that became all the more
idiotic and perverse, as he
tried to twist them in service of his petty pride
and vanity, and we all died
with laughter watching him,
balancing on our balls, holding our secrets
in our mouths like big marbles. |
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